Motivating And Communicating With Young Athletes
Mari, a sports mom of two successful kayakers, aged 13 and 14, says she’s her kids’ sports psychologist, personal trainer, nutritionist and much more.
She contacted us to ask:
Is she too over-involved in her kids’ sports life?
After speaking with Mari, we concluded that the answer is no. But very few sports parents can pull off what Mari does.
Why? It’s really challenging for sports parents to spend so much time involved in their kids’ sports life and strike that delicate balance between being supportive—and too emotionally invested.
Read on to learn just what Mari does so well!
First of all, Mari emphasizes the importance of communicating well with her two kids, who compete at the national level. In fact, communication is a top priority for Mari.
“Ever since we’ve been able to communicate verbally, I’ve been involved in talking about how they feel and the choices they make. Open communication is key. We talk about how we’re working as a team. This communication piece has kept it healthy,” she says.
At the Ultimate Sports Parent and Kids’ Sports Psychology, we agree that communicating well with your young athletes is one of the most important things you can do.
If you’re on the same page as your young athletes—if you understand what motivates them and what makes them happy in sports—you’re likely to support them in the best way possible.
In other words, you’re not likely to push them in directions they don’t want to go (which is a big no-no in sports parenting!).
Mari also asks her kids about just how much they want her involved in their sports life.
“Each step of way, I check in. I offer to back off. They say, ‘No, they don’t want me to,’” she says.
She notes that some parents actually back off too soon, and their children quit due to lack of support. This is all about striking that important balance we mentioned earlier.
Mari has also gained the respect of her young athletes by learning as much as possible about their sport. In fact, Mari trained and raced at the nationals and learned a lot about the hardships of the sport.
Not every sports parent can compete, but this gave her empathy for the rigors her kids face and credibility with her kids.
“I did it to see what it’s like. I found that to be on the water in February, your hands are so cold that they turn purple and expand when you run them under hot water.”
What’s more, Mari communicates with her children’s coach to ensure she has his blessing to be so involved. She does not step into his coaching territory unless she worries that the kids’ safety is at risk.
In summary, Mari embraces many critical ideas about sports parenting.
They include:
- Establish open lines of communication with your sports kids. Be empathic!
- Understand their goals and dreams and support those goals—not yours.
- Don’t confuse your young athletes by being a sideline coach. Let the coaches do their work and support them!
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- Sports Parents: Learn from Simone Biles’ “Twisties” During the Olympics?
- How Sports Parents Can Help Kids Relax
- Sports Parents’ Anger and Frustration Hurts Kids
*Subscribe to The Sports Psychology Podcast on iTunes
*Subscribe to The Sports Psychology Podcast on Spotify
Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!
Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids who struggle with the “inner” game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.
You can benefit from our 15-plus years’ of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research. Now, you can tap into our secrets to sports success through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top “mental game” challenges that sports parents face—and the top challenges young athletes face.