Overcoming Perfectionism in Youth Sports
Often, we hear from parents who worry about young athletes who are too hard on themselves. You’re likely familiar with these types of athletes.
They’re perfectionists!
Perfectionists athletes criticize themselves for making mistakes, often hold very high expectations for themselves, and get frustrated easily after making mistakes.
On the positive side, these athletes have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and want to learn and improve.
In fact, most athletes display at least some ‘perfectionistic’ traits from time to time.
It’s not always easy for perfectionist athletes to perform up to their abilities.
When kids try to be perfect, they can undermine their own talents quickly. They hold strict expectations about their performance, are afraid of failing, and worry too much about results, statistics, goals scored or wins.
If your young athlete is a perfectionist, begin by identifying the traits that may be sabotaging his or her confidence in competition.
- Does your child want to win so badly that he feels anxious?
- Is your athlete afraid of failing or losing?
- Does he or she play tentatively during games?
- Does your athlete try too hard and then over-control his or her performance?
There is one important task for you as parent…
Parents with perfectionist athletes should help kids identify their high (often unrealistic) expectations about how they should perform. Then, help your child replace these expectations with simple process goals.
For example, say your athlete believes he or she should hit every shot perfectly. Suggest that your child replace his or her “I must hit every shot perfectly” mindset with these simple process goals or objectives:
- Pick the right target for each shot.
- Be decisive.
- Be confident.
Want to learn more about how to build confidence and success in young athletes?
Check out our workbook/CD program, The Ultimate Sports Parent: A 14-Day Plan for Kids’ Success in Sports.
You’ll also learn how to:
- Decide how much pressure is too much pressure
- Motivate kids to master their sport
- Help kids feel confident in athletics
- Help young athletes not worry about what everyone thinks
- Guide children as they cope with frustration, anger and heartache in sports
- Cope with kids’ difficult or negative coaches
- Provide young athletes with the right kind of support after defeats or mistakes
Related Articles on Youth Sports:
- Why Sports Parents Shouldn’t Encourage Perfectionism
- Young Athlete Who Freeze Up During Games
- Helping Perfectionists Overcome Fragile Confidence
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Help Young Athletes Boost Confidence in Sports!
Every day, we receive letters from parents like you who want their children and teens to excel in sports. However, these parents can see fear, doubt, and frustration on the faces of their kids who struggle with the “inner” game of sports. But these parents have no idea how to help their kids overcome the worries, expectations and self-defeating thoughts that prevent their young athletes from feeling confident and successful.
You can benefit from our 15-plus years’ of work in sports psychology and sports parenting research. Now, you can tap into our secrets to sports success through a cutting-edge, 14-day program that helps young athletes overcome the top “mental game” challenges that sports parents face—and the top challenges young athletes face.